In Love with an Idiot by Shui Qian Cheng (Chapter 9)

I am so sorry this took so long. ;-; Real life got in the way, but hopefully I'll have more time now!

As always, I am not a professional translator, but I try my best. I try to translate the gist and not the exact wording, so I do take some liberties.

Notes here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VqiJBmMsKEdZLF0E7shkJzadCeB5IKkctg4I-frvdDQ/edit?usp=sharing

Thank you for reading!

In the end Jian Suiying couldn't get up to greet the New Year, having slept all the way until dawn broke. He had a splitting headache when he woke up the next morning; it's as if there was a layer of something transparent over his whole vision, where he could see just fine but something felt off.

After waking up, he came to the realization that he was still lying on Jian Suilin's bed, stripped to only his underwear. For a while he stared at the ceiling with wide open eyes, debating whether to get up or to continue sleeping.

Suddenly he remembered something, and he got up to look all over for his phone.

He had been thinking of giving Li Yu a call at twelve o'clock yesterday to wish him a Happy New Year, maybe even counting down together. Stupid, yes, but wasn’t that what two people being together are like? Neither sparing a chance to be with the other?

But one very long nap and everything got derailed. He didn't even get to send Li Yu a text message. After some toiling around, he finally fished the phone out of his trousers. There were more than 20 missed calls and text messages; none of the calls were from Li Yu, so he flipped through his texts, and finally found one with Li Yu's name attributed to it.

He opened it and, immediately, was disappointed beyond compare.

Li Yu sent him a congratulatory text message. One of those obviously pre-made ones, forwarded from God knows where and sent en masse for New Year’s.

That's it.

Jian Suiying, too, felt pretty dumb to fuss over a text message, but he just didn’t like it.

Even if it's something as simple as three words "Happy New Year", couldn’t Li Yu have sent a separate message to him, Jian Suiying, alone? The two of them had such a close relationship, and all he got was a mass text for New Year's?

No matter how he looked at this, Jian Suiying felt that it wasn't him being too fussy, it was Li Yu being stupid.

He landed butt-naked onto the bed and dialed Li Yu.

"Hello, brother Jian."

"Hey, Li Lao Er."

Jian Suiying only called him Li Lao Er when he’s looking for a fight, and Li Yu knew something was up the second he heard this.

"What's wrong?"

"Don't you have anything to say to me today?"

"Huh? Oh, happy new year."

Jian Suiying "tsk"ed: "Why didn't you call me yesterday? What even am I to you?"

Li Yu said helplessly, "I did call Suilin yesterday. He said that you were sleeping after drinking too much, so I didn't call you."

These words did not comfort Jian Suiying in the slightest and, tnstead, added oil to the fire: "Wait, you didn’t call me, but you called him? Why?"

Li Yu fell silent for a bit. "What's wrong with you this time? Still drunk?"

Jian Suiying fumed: “Sober for a long time here! What, you think you can just forward me a cheesy-ass text message for New Year's and be done with it?"

Li Yu really gave up: "Then what else do you want? I don't understand what's wrong with you."

The tone of Li Yu's voice made Jian Suiying feel like one of those unreasonable, resentful women, which pissed him off even more, but he felt that continuing to speak would only prove the point. Right now he's in one of those legendary situations where he'd feel prissy for saying what's on his mind, but wronged for not saying it. In the end, he didn’t say another word and hung up the phone altogether.

"Shit, how can someone be this stupid..." Jian Suiying rolled on the bed, growing angrier and angrier the more he thought about it.

At this moment Jian Suilin came in, and the first thing he saw was his brother sprawled on the bed in a speedo.

Jian Suiying glanced up at him: "Where did you sleep last night?"

"Guest bedroom."

"Oh. What time is it?"

"Nine thirty."

Jian Suiying yawned: "My head hurts, go get me some medicine. And make me some food. I'll head downstairs later."

Jian Suilin couldn't resist staring at the bulge in Jian Suiying's black underwear, and he stayed there for a full two seconds before moving his eyes away: "Okay. Brush your teeth first, big brother, I've set everything up for you. Here's some clothes. Come down after you finish."

Jian Suiying laid on the bed for another good while before lazily pulling himself up to wash up and eat.

His father was reading the newspaper when he made his way downstairs. At seeing him, he laughed: "Suiying, you passed out so quickly yesterday, how long had it been since you last had a drink?"

"They were ganging up on me. It's too fucking much." Jian Suiying rubbed his head.

Jian Dongyuan put his newspaper down and, looking at his tall, burly son, felt a sense of pride: "Eat up, you’ll be busy for the next couple of days."

"Hmm."

"So when do you think we should go see your grandpa?"

"I'm thinking third day after the New Year." He was planning to pay New Year's greetings [1] to his mother’s side of the family today and tomorrow and visit his grandfather's place on the third day.

"Sure, you can handle it, then. Regarding Suilin... what do you think about bringing him along?"

Jian Suiying cast a glance at Jian Suilin: "You want to go?"

His grandfather didn't like Jian Suilin and would ignore him whenever he saw him. He knew for certain that Jian Suilin didn't want to go, either.

However, uncharacteristically, Jian Suilin quickly replied this time: "Yeah. I haven't seen Grandpa in a long time."

Jian Suiying raised his eyebrows, thinking that this kid’s really going places.

Jian Dongyuan nodded with satisfaction.

Remembering something, Jian Suiying said, "Dad, this year I'm thinking of taking Xiao Lin Zi along to pay New Year's greetings to the Li family."

"Oh, great. You two have been getting along well with the two Li brothers as of late, it's indeed time to pay some New Year's greetings and establish a relationship."

"Hmm. You can give Uncle [2] Li a heads up about this, and I’ll take Suilin over."

"Sure."

Jian Suiying recalled that fair, emotionless face of Li Yu's. Ah, how he loved and hated that face.

On the second evening after Chinese New Year, Jian Suiying took Xiao Lin Zi to the Li family to pay New Year's greetings. Obviously there was no small number of visitors at this time of the year, and at the time of Jian Suiying's arrival there was still a group of people who hadn't yet left. Jian Suiying didn't mind that the elders of the Li family couldn't make their way to him, though–his main purpose wasn't to pay New Year's greetings anyway. Li Yu was why he came.

Li Xuan took the Jian brothers up to a reception room on the third floor, separate from the people downstairs, and Jian Suiying suddenly felt a weight lifted off of him. Li Xuan had set up a nearly two-meter desk made of Fragrant Rosewood [3], and on it were equipment for Gongfu tea brewing [4]. Everything giving off a domineering vibe.

Although Jian Suiying had no particular interest in mahogany furniture, he couldn't resist offering up a few words of praise upon seeing such an imposing work. At the same time, he mentally remarked that although Li Xuan looked young and handsome on the outside, on the inside he was like an old man in his 40s or 50s. His interests, the way he dealt with the world--all betrayed a seasoned calmness.

He couldn't help but glance at Li Yu, and thought: "Li Yu won't become like his brother after a few years, right? That would be..so boring."

The four sat down around the table, and Li Xuan made tea for them. And he actually looked good at what he was doing.

Jian Suiying couldn't help teasing: "So this is what Chief Li liked doing in his free time. Nice, it’s good for your body and your soul."

Li Xuan said with a smile: "I don't have much time for this usually, and these couple of days during the New Year's are the only free time I have. I really like collecting tea--here, try this. Someone gifted me this Junshan Yinzhen [5] a while ago."

Jian Suiying wasn’t interested in things that required dedicated study, and he didn't know much about tea. However, after one sip, it was indeed pleasantly fragrant with an endless aftertaste.

After a few more sentences of small talk Jian Suiying cut to the chase, still about that piece of land. They talked for a bit and quickly reached a consensus: they'll have the person in charge of that project write a pretty-looking business plan, Li Xuan will directly hand it over to those in charge and move things a little from the inside. In short--things were looking hopeful.

Li Yu suddenly interjected: "After my brother returns to Guangxi, how about I take over the communications regarding this matter?"

Jian Suiying looked at him and couldn't resist giving him a kick under the table. Then, he put on a nonchalant face and laughed: "That works. It’d be easier having you deal with your own brother anyway. Report to me any time there's progress in this project."

Expression a little embarrassed, Li Yu gave Jian Suiying a meaningful look and curled his legs back.

Jian Suiying gave a subtle smirk. That prim-and-proper look of Li Yu's really made him want to tease him. Quietly kicking off his slippers, he touched his toes to Li Yu's ankle.

The two were sitting face to face, making things conveniently secretive for Jian Suiying as he did this.

Li Yu gave him a look of warning as he turned slightly towards Jian Suilin and asked him whether he'd bought a game that'd recently come out.

On one hand Jian Suiying pretended to drink tea with Li Xuan, and the other he boldly stretched out his foot and rubbed Li Yu's inner thigh.

Li Yu’s body shook, and an awkward look came onto his face.

Li Xuan looked at him: "What's wrong? You can't even sit properly on such a big chair?"

Li Yu turned his face away and sat up straighter.

Chuckling in a low voice, Jian Suiying quickly batted his eyes at Li Yu. Li Yu gave him a glare.

It was only for a brief second that their eyes met, but that moment was still sensitively captured by Jian Suilin. There was no change in his expression save for a little flicker in his eyes, which he concealed under the guise of drinking tea.

In a second, the atmosphere around the table changed to a somewhat strange one. Li Xuan was the only one unaware as he continued chatting with Jian Suiying.

Seeing Li Yu's fearful expression, Jian Suiying lost interest in teasing him any further.

The Jian brothers stayed there for two hours. Checking the time, they bid farewell.

Li Xuan had originally wanted to send them out, but his phone rang as soon as they reached the door.

Jian Suiying told him to go answer the call and not worry about it.

With an apologetic glance, Li Xuan quickly answered the phone, talking as he left.

So Li Yu sent them out instead. When they reached the car, Jian Suiying opened the driver's door and told Jian Suilin, "Get in."

Jian Suilin gave him a slightly startled look before getting in.

Jian Suiying said, "You stay here for a while." and slammed the car door closed. Then, he tried to pull Li Yu to the side.

Li Yu, as if shocked by electricity, shook off his hand.

Jian Suiying looked at him in surprise.

With a stiff expression, Li Yu peeked inside the car out of the corner of his eye and said in a low voice, "What are you doing?"

Jian Suiying didn’t like this: "Can't I talk to you?"

Li Yu pursed his lips, eyes presenting a look of obvious rejection.

Jian Suilin's sitting in the car right next to them, and he could see their every move–even hear their every word. Suilin was already very suspicious of his relationship with Jian Suiying and if, at this very moment, he actually went off with Jian Suiying, how would he face Suilin's suspicions next time?

Li Yu let out a sigh and, with a deliberate coldness, replied: "Let's talk about it later."

Jian Suiying, too, knew he was doing this to avoid suspicion, but he still didn’t like it. For one, they hadn't seen each other in several days, and the two of them didn’t even give each other a proper greeting for Chinese New Year’s. And when they did meet face to face, Li Yu acted as if one look at him would be too much. Jian Suiying sometimes felt that he liked Li Yu but Li Yu didn't like him. This feeling really left him at a loss.

He wouldn't be so stupid as to ask Li Yu what he thought about him--that much self-awareness he had. At this moment, he's well aware that Li Yu and him, to put it bluntly, were nothing more than fuck-buddies. Although he’d liked Li Yu, he hadn't thought that far into the future with him, and so, between them, there had really been no need for any promises and the like.

At least that's what he'd always thought before.

But it had been more than half a year since he got together with Li Yu, and he really liked being with him; the two of them had many disagreements, but he just liked being with this person, and there was this hope that they'd be like this forever. Even though he wouldn't go as far as to die over Li Yu, nor did he expect him to return his feelings, he had hoped that this person, whom he cared so much for and would miss every couple of days, would at least also show a little affection for him.

In half a year he went from being happy as long as he had Li Yu to himself, to hoping that Li Yu liked him back, and getting angry if he felt that Li Yu didn't value him. He didn't know whether such a change was good or bad, just that he couldn't put a stop to it, and he didn't want to put a stop to it, he just wanted to realize this desire from the bottom of his heart.

Jian Suiying looked at Li Yu for a few seconds, at his indifferent, fearful gaze, and finally compromised. He swallowed his disappointment and said, displeased: "Fine. We'll talk about it later."

Going around him, Jian Suiying got into the co-pilot seat and, without another look at him, stared ahead. He said softly to Xiao Lin Zi, "Go home."

Jian Suilin glanced at the tall, handsome youth out of the rearview mirror, his gaze cold as ice.

Since Jian Suiying was in a bad mood, he took a shower and got into bed early. In no time he fell asleep, but after God knows how long, he was suddenly awakened by his phone.

In a daze, Jian Suiying answered his phone: "Hello?"

"Were you sleeping?" Li Yu's voice came from the other side.

Jian Suiying was suddenly filled with energy. The fact that Li Yu took the initiative to call cheered him up a bit: "Ah, I just fell asleep."

"It's not even twelve o'clock. You've never gone to bed this early."

"I'm going to my grandpa's early tomorrow morning."

"Oh."

"What's wrong?"

"I had wanted to see you tomorrow."

Jian Suiying's mood suddenly did a 180, and he said with a laugh, "Why, do you miss me?"

Li Yu, however, wasn't laughing, and his voice even sounded a little cold: "Since you have something to do tomorrow, let's just wait until you come back."

"Hey..." Jian Suiying really wanted to see Li Yu tomorrow, but he had already planned to go pay New Year's greetings to his grandfather, which couldn't be put off, so he said, "Why don't you come out now?"

"Now? This late?"

"It's not yet twelve o'clock, see you at my house."

Li Yu was silent for a while: "Okay, but it will have to be later. I have to wait until my family's asleep."

"Sure."

Jian Suiying hopped off the bed after ending the call. He had been staying at his father's for the night, but, when he thought about the fun he's going to have with Li Yu, he literally wished he could fly back to his apartment.

This Xiao Li Zi was a real vixen to reduce him to this state, he thought.

Thinking of how stupid he looked at this moment, Jian Suiying couldn't help but laugh. Well, so be it. He actually let Li Yu top him--just how much did he fancy this kid? The facts were right in front of him, and he didn't want to deceive himself. In any case, there's nothing he could do about it. What could he say, Li Yu was really something, and there's nothing embarrassing about bending over backwards for a beauty like him.

The future was long, and he had enough confidence in himself to believe that, one day, he would have Li Yu on his knees.

Young Master Jian put on his clothes and fussed over his appearance for a long time before going out smelling hot and fragrant.

There were very few cars on the road around Chinese New Year, and Jian Suiying arrived at his place within half an hour. He’d waited for another half an hour before he heard the sound of the key turning–Li Yu would come here at least once a week for the past 6 months, so he simply gave him the key.

The heater had already warmed up the room when Li Yu came in wearing a black, bulky winter coat, bringing the chill with him. A high collar covered his pale neck and the tip of his nose flushed red, making his youthful skin appear especially translucent.

Jian Suiying walked over and frowned as his hand reached for those redden ears, which felt cold to the touch: "Didn't you drive here? Why are you so cold?"

Li Yu unzipped his coat but didn't take it off: "I took a taxi. Opening the garage would be too noisy, and I'm afraid I’d wake up my family."

Jian Suiying said as he rubbed those ears, "You should have called me. I'd have come picked you up."

"No need..." Li Yu slowly took a hold of his hands and moved them away, as he stared at him with round, black eyes, "I have something to tell you, and I have to leave after I finish."

Jian Suiying suddenly had a very bad feeling. He put down his hand, and, looking at Li Yu, said: "Say it."

Li Yu took a slow breath in: "Our relationship…You know that it cannot be made public. I didn't think you'd be so foolish at your age, but what were you thinking today? My brother and Suilin were right there. Neither of them are stupid–aren't you afraid they'd notice something? "

Jian Suiying let out a laugh and said: "Fuck, and here I was, wondering what the big deal was. They don't have X-Ray vision, how could they see what we were doing under the table? I was just teasing you. That's all you got?"

Li Yu didn't laugh. His expression was actually very serious as he said, frigidly, "But what if? Can you just stop doing such stupid things?"

Now Jian Suiying's also getting a little riled up: "I did what I did. So what? It's the holidays, and you came all this way here to pick a fight with me over something the weight of a literal fart?"

Li Yu said coldly, "I don't think it's a trivial matter." Recalling Jian Suilin's questioning gaze, he still felt uncomfortable all over.

Jian Suiying really wanted to slap him: "Why are you such a pussy? Were you born in the year of the vagina or something?"

Li Yu gave him a hard glare, zipped up his coat forcefully, and turned around to leave.

Jian Suiying tugged at his clothes and raged, "You come back here!"

Li Yu swatted his arm away.

Jian Suiying grabbed a hold of him and said sarcastically, "What the fuck do you want? Do I have to apologize to you?"

Li Yu looked at him with a cold face: "Have you ever thought about me? You have no sense of shame. I do.”

Now that completely set Jian Suiying off. He grabbed Li Yu's collar in one fell swoop and pinned him against the door, roaring, "What did you say? I dare you to repeat that one more time!"

Li Yu returned with a frigid gaze: "Let go."

Jian Suiying came way up close to him and, squinting his eyes, said: "Li Lao Er, you on your period or something? I don't even see what the big deal is. What the literal fuck are you going on with me about? You think I'm that stupid? It was just a joke, and look at yourself–what’s the point of this?"

Li Yu's eyes were full of anger: "I have nothing to say to you, let go."

Jian Suiying looked into Li Yu's eyes and realized that he was actually angry. It's been a while since he'd seen Li Yu like this: in their usual scruffles Li Yu would be the more sensible one. Most of the time he didn't argue back, and the conflict would be over after Jian Suiying got bored of it. But this was different, he felt that Li Yu was looking for a fight and that he was actually angry.

On this very rare occasion, Jian Suiying started reflecting on himself.

Although he felt that Li Yu was making a mountain out of a molehill and was too much of a pussy, his concerns were understand. After all, he was young, and his father and elder brother's power still loomed over him. He hadn't gone through much, so getting flustered was understandable.

Thinking of it this way, Jian Suiying felt that Li Yu was quite pitiful, too. His behavior today probably scared this kid. He adjusted his mentality and remembered that Li Yu's the one who'd usually compromise with him, so today he ought to be like an adult and compromise with Li Yu.

Even though he felt that he did nothing wrong.

Jian Suiying sighed, relaxed his hold, and said softly: "Forget it, Xiao Li Zi, let's stop fighting. It's Chinese New Year's, can't we make peace?"

A look of surprise flashed across Li Yu's eyes.

For Jian Suiying to give in first–It was as if the sun had come out from the west, and for a moment, he had no idea what to do.

The words he had prepared to say got stuck in his throat.

Jian Suiying gave those lips a "smooch": "Okay, okay, let's turn over a new leaf. I won't do that anymore, okay? Look at how nervous you are. Come take off your clothes, aren't you hot?"

Li Yu had, in fact, been sweating. He half-heartedly allowed his coat to be removed by Jian Suiying and thrown aside, but he was still suspicious and looked at Jian Suiying with scrutiny.

Jian Suiying chuckled and said, "What? Do I look that unreasonable to you?"

Li Yu said in a muffled voice, "How many times have you ever been reasonable?"

Jian Suiying pinched those tender cheeks: "Can't help it, I fancy you."

A feeling that's difficult to describe bubbled up in his heart. He looked at Jian Suiying, and then looked away.

Jian Suiying was still standing in front of Li Yu, pressing his forehead against his as he smiled flirtatiously: "Did you miss me these past days?"

Li Yu looked at him and said nothing.

"I only teased you today because I missed you." Jian Suiying reached into his clothes and ran his hand up and down his back, lightly pecking his lips as he said in a hoarse voice, "Do you want to do it?"

Li Yu pushed him onto the opposite wall and violently pressed their lips together, sucking roughly at it. Jian Suiying clasped his shoulders, fingers threading into his thick black hair as their lips and teeth entangled wantonly.

There was boundless energy between the two, ready to explode the second they touched each other.

Li Yu was a bit hasty today and didn't do any foreplay, which made Jian Suiying very uncomfortable.

Jian Suiying yelled, "Slow the fuck down!"

Li Yu acted as if he didn't hear this. Jian Suiying was hurting a lot, but he didn't want to show weakness so he gritted his teeth and endured it. No matter how slow he was, he now realized that Li Yu was doing this on purpose to vent his anger through sex.

Deeply humiliated, Jian Suiying raised his hand and slapped Li Yu across the face: "I'm fucking telling you to slow down!"

No emotion could be seen in Li Yu's pitch-black pupils as he instead increased his speed.

"Tss..." Jian Suiying sucked in a breath of pain. He didn't have energy left to give Li Yu a piece of his mind--he just felt feverish all over, angry and in pain.

Li Yu was rough, but Jian Suiying still felt a familiar *. Yet, he was not prepared for this. By the second round he really couldn't take it any more, and all he wanted was for Li Yu to finish the job quickly. However, Li Yu, as if he didn't hear anything, only increased the speed and force behind his movements, and Jian Suiying screamed until his voice went hoarse.

He was already drifting in and out of consciousness by the time Li Yu finished, and he laid on the bed in a daze.

After a short while, he heard the sound of rushing water coming from the bathroom. After another short while, Li Yu came out, fully dressed.

Jian Suiying asked in a hoarse voice: "You want to go back?"

"Yeah."

Jian Suiying had a horrible feeling. The feeling was so horrible, he didn't even question Li Yu's roughness just now as he scrambled up and sat himself on the head of the bed: "Go get me something to eat, I'm hungry."

Li Yu put on his coat: "You can order something on your own when morning comes. I have to get back."

Jian Suiying lit a cigarette, hands trembling: "You fucking fucked me for three hours. Is it too much to ask that you cook me a meal?"

Li Yu stopped in his tracks. He took off the coat he’d put on and, without a word, went into the kitchen. After a while, he came back with a bowl of noodles, which he put on the bedside table: "I'm leaving."

Jian Suiying stared at that bowl of noodles. The rising vapors made his eyes hurt. With a swing of his hand, he threw the bowl of noodles all over Li Yu's body.

Li Yu froze. He grabbed a hold of Jian Suiying's collar and, for a second, wanted to hit him. But then his eyes met Jian Suiying's, and his fist stopped mid-air, unable to actually touch him.

Jian Suiying said in a low voice, "Li Yu, you're a real cunt."

Li Yu slowly let go of his collar and finally said what he wanted to say all night: "We should...stop seeing each other."

The suspicion and coldness in Jian Suilin's gaze was a wake-up call. So far, he had deluded himself into maintaining this ambiguous relationship with Jian Suiying, thinking that things would always be under his control. But, suddenly, he realized that his relationship with this person was becoming more and more out of control, heading toward a direction he didn't dare to think much about.

What Jian Suiying did today made him realize that, sooner or later, their secret would be discovered; sooner or later, they’d be found out by Suilin, his brother, and even his other family–maybe accidentally, maybe because Jian Suiying gave it away.

Sooner or later, such a day would come, given his increasingly intimate relationship with Jian Suiying. Whenever he remembered this, he became anxious.

He had no idea what he's going to do on that day, should it actually come.

These six months had passed by quickly. So quickly, in fact, he'd now grown accustomed to living a couple-like life with a man, to being with Jian Suiying, to even feeling happy on occasion. Habit was a terrifying thing; it, in the slow passage of time, had eroded his principles and vigilance into oblivion. He had to make a stop before things got out of hand.

And today–this day where he finally woke up and felt the pressure, and was thus able to put his foot down–was a suitable day for this.

Jian Suiying gritted his teeth and looked at him with bloodshot eyes.

No matter how unforgiving Jian Suiying usually was, especially when he was in the right--he's in so much pain right now, he couldn't speak.

Subconsciously, he always knew that Li Yu would want to get rid of him one day, but he hadn't expected that day to come so soon. He had been hoping that, if they spent more time together, Li Yu would fall in love with him with all his heart. But as it appears right now, he was way off. No, not even way off--soon to be straight up impossible.

He couldn't accept this.

In his more than twenty years of life, this was the first time he cared so much about someone else. He'd worked so hard to please him, to accommodate him, and he even compromised in bed. He made all these concessions, in the hope that he would draw Li Yu closer and closer until Li Yu would like him as much as he liked Li Yu.

But all he got in the end was a light "Let's end things here".

He now regretted not drugging Li Yu and taking him right there. If he'd done that, he wouldn't be dealing with this crap. Maybe if he'd fulfilled his wish back then, he wouldn't be calculating every single one of his steps to get closer to Li Yu, to try and conquer him, only to end up trapped himself in a particularly stupid way. If he could do it all over again, would he still disgrace and embarrass himself like this? 

Shame on you, Jian Suiying. You had your darling fuck you for half a year, only to get nothing in return and be kicked to the curb.

This was really not in line with his principles. He couldn't accept this. How could he accept this?

But his mind was a mess, and he didn't know what to say or do. His mind had been in a mess ever since Li Yu said those words, and he could only look at Li Yu; bitterly, unflinchingly, he looked at Li Yu.

Li Yu couldn't look directly at Jian Suiying's eyes; those eyes seemed to pierce into him and make his heart tremble. He grabbed his coat and, as if he hadn't seen the noodles dripping off of him, ran off.

For a long while, Jian Suiying was glued to where he was. Then, he brutally crashed everything on the bedside table onto the ground.

The next day, Jian Suiying overslept and was woken up by a phone call from his father. His father gave him a few choice words and asked him where he went. Jian Suiying couldn't be bothered to reply, and he hung up the phone, put on his clothes, and drove home as fast as he could.

His father and Suilin were all ready to go and sitting in the living room. Jian Suiying decided to not bring anything, and the three of them, along with the driver, set off immediately.

Jian Dongyuan sat in the front and chatted with the driver, while Jian Suiying and Jian Suilin sat in the back seats. Arms crossed against his chest, Jian Suiying leaned back into the seat with his eyes closed, having not spoken since returning home.

Jian Suilin questioningly looked at him and finally couldn't help a soft ask: "Brother, where did you go last night?"

Jian Suiying spat out: "Mind your business."

Jian Suilin could tell that his brother was in a bad mood. But usually he'd vent his anger on anyone and anything around him with four words "I am fucking pissed" practically written across his forehead. Situations like this, where he's in a bad mood and not saying anything about it were...truly too rare.

Based on his analysis, his brother was either stewing in his anger or thinking of rotten ways to deal with the person or thing that made him feel this way. In either case, provoking him right now would not be a good idea. Jian Suilin turned his face away and lowered his head to play with his phone.

As you can see, Xiao Lin Zi had a pretty good grasp of the way his brother's mind worked, as Jian Suiying was, at this moment, precisely thinking of ways to deal with Li Yu.

Even now he hadn't recovered from the events of this early morning. He just felt that, with the amount of time and kindness he spent on Li Yu, even a cat or a dog would have grown close to him by now, but why did Li Yu kick him aside with only a few words and not a shred of doubt?

Jian Suiying really couldn't accept this.

He knew that Li Yu was a particularly difficult nut to crack, but he didn't expect him to be this difficult.

Recalling Li Yu's cold expression yesterday–it was the same as always, as if their six months together had only been a bout of gas that passed though his anal sphincter, and just like that, the two of them returned to their previous, familiar-but-not-quite relationship. Even a rough man like Jian Suiying, who considered himself cold-hearted, couldn't help but feel sad.

Jian Suiying never imagined that one day he'd fall into such a pathetic predicament like "I like you, but you don't like me".

But he's definitely not someone who simply felt sorry for himself. He's not of those fucking self-sacrificial morons who go "as long as you are happy, I will be happy". Anyone who dared to make him unhappy will receive the unhappiness twofold, even if it was someone he’d liked.

If Li Yu thought that he, Jian Suiying, would just roll out of his world with his tail between his legs, then he was totally wrong. A storm's brewing up inside him, and he's definitely giving Li Yu a taste of the things he could do. If Li Yu dared to play him like this, the kid had to be mentally prepared for some serious bad luck coming his way.

Since this was how Li Yu treated him, there's no need for any politeness on Jian Suiying’s part. He’s decided that, after getting back, he’d first satisfy his urges and do Li Yu. In any case Li Yu didn't like him back, and there's no pressure if he made Li Yu like him even less.

Jian Suiying felt that his resentment was about to tear him apart, and had Li Yu been standing in front of him at this moment, he’d throw him under the wheel of the car and run over him back and forth a few times to relieve it.

Ever since his mother passed away and his father married Zhao Yan, his grandfather had never allowed his father back into the house and never talked to him. Thanks to Jian Suiying’s going back and forth between the two of them for the past few years, the old man had, reluctantly, allowed his father back in, but he never smiled in his presence and never answered anything he said. His attitude was obviously one of “You can come if you want to, but if you don't, I'll just pretend you're no son of mine”.

Although Jian Suilin was a member of their family, he was, after all, Zhao Yan’s child. The old man gave him a symbolic red envelope during Chinese New Year’s but treated him more coldly than even his nephew’s children, and pretty much didn't think of him as a grandson.

Normally, if Jian Suiying was alone, the old man would definitely be waiting for him at the door. Today, though, he's certainly not coming out.

The maid led the three of them in. The old man was reading a newspaper on the sofa and, when he saw them come in, simply raised his eyes and looked expressionlessly on.

Telling Suilin to put down the things he brought, Jian Dongyuan said respectfully, "Dad, happy Chinese New Year."

Jian Suilin also hurriedly said, "Grandpa, Happy Chinese New Year."

The old man glanced at Jian Dongyuan with a blank expression on his face, then glanced at Jian Suilin, and made a sound of acquiesce. Then, he stood up, walked towards Jian Suiying, and suddenly reached for his pants and scolded: "What's this? How many times have I told you to not only wear one pair of pants [6] during winter. Anything went back when you were young, but you’re almost thirty now, do you even want to walk when you’re older?”

Jian Suiying smiled and said, "My trousers are quite thick." It's not that he didn't want to wear another pair, but, in his hurry, he’d forgotten. He came here by car and didn't feel anything.

"Go to the back room and put on a pair of thermal pants. You’re how old again? And yet others have to remind you to put clothes on."

"In a bit, in a bit. It’s so warm in this room, I can even wear short sleeves." Jian Suiying took off his coat as he talked, and then said to Jian Dongyuan, "Dad, you guys sit."

Jian Dongyuan awkwardly sat down with Jian Suilin.

In addition to the people spanning three generations of the Jian family, the old man's maid and driver were also in the room. The old man only talked with Jian Suiying, so, to avoid embarrassment, Jian Dongyuan could only chat with them.

Even so, the atmosphere was strange. But most people were used to it.

After a while it was time for dinner. The maid was going to go fix something up, and Jian Suilin also stood up: "Auntie, let me help you."

The maid smiled and said, "No, no, please sit down, young master."

"Auntie, let me help you. It's a lot of work preparing meals for so many people, and it’s New Year’s, I don't have anything to do. "

Jian Suiying glanced at them and said, "Don’t worry about it, let him help you."

Actually, Jian Suilin had always been a very likable kid. Clever, sweet-mouthed, socially savvy, and good-looking–Jian Suiying could tell that many elders were secretly a bit fond of him, and it was only because Jian Suiying was right there that none of them dared to show it. If his mother hadn’t been Zhao Yan--even if she had been some other unknown woman–Jian Suilin would be very loved by his family.

The maid was not a member of his family so she didn't have as many scruples. She happily took off with Jian Suilin.

While Jian Dongyuan and the driver were chatting about cars on the other side of the sofa, the old man sipped his tea and talked with Jian Suiying about his company.

Jian Suiying told his grandfather everything he recently did.

Although the old man had already retired and, as typical of folks from those days, didn't have a high degree of formal education, he was a very knowledgeable person with a quick mind. Jian Suiying’s career really took off these years in part thanks to the old man’s advice.

While talking, the old man brought up Li Yu: "Hey, how’s that second grandson of old Li’s? Is he still working at your company?"

That name made Jian Suiying feel constipated, aggrieved, and pathetic, so he only let out a muffled "um".

"How's he doing? He's doing fine, right? Good kid."

Jian Suiying said without much thought: "Oh, he's fine."

The old man glanced at him: "Do you have something behind those words?"

Jian Suiying let out an "ah" and said casually, "Oh, it's nothing, he's just..."

"He’s just what?"

Jian Suiying couldn’t help self-deprecatingly thinking that the old man would probably cough out blood if he told him the truth. He pulled at the corner of his mouth and smiled: "He's just a little injured, that's all."

"What's the injury? Is it serious?"

"I mean, it's pretty serious if you think about it."

The old man had no idea what he was up to: "What's going on?"

Jian Suiying got closer to him and whispered: "That boy, you know, doesn't seem to work well down there."

The old man’s eyes suddenly lit up. He said in a low voice: "Ah? Really? How did you know?"

"He's my assistant, right? He really trusts and respects my opinion, and asks for my advice regarding a lot of matters."

"Oh my. The kid is...how old again? What a pity, such a good-looking young man..." Although the old man’s words were sympathetic, his eyes were blazing with the sparks of gossip.

Jian Suiying was well aware of how these retired officials had nothing to do these days and would congregate every now and then to talk. Their favorite topics were stuff like which guy was in trouble, which guy was cozying up with which other guy, what’s at stake in this affair or that affair, or so-and-so's embarrassing situation, so-and-so's gossip. In any case they have retired and don't have to take responsibility for their words, so they can talk whatever they want when they have nothing to do.

At first, Jian Suiying was just talking nonsense to make himself feel better, but after thinking about it, it'd be lovely if news of Li Yu's impotence spread throughout the capital. Let's see who would dare to introduce a girl to him with this news.

Jian Suiying also said regretfully: "Right? He's only twenty this year. He's so young, what’s he going to do?"

The old man also sighed incessantly in lamentation: "Sigh. What a pity. You didn't ask what happened? Is there any way to cure it?"

"I don't know, he's too embarrassed to tell me."

"Well, I figured. How about this, I'll give you some herbs when you leave, and you take them back to him. Tell him to soak them in water and drink it like tea, they’re good for that."

"No problem, I'll tell him when I head back." Jian Suiying felt absolutely no guilt about spreading rumors about other people behind their backs. Instead, he felt amused by his own nonsense, but it's a pity that right now was not the time to laugh.

The next morning, Jian Suiying drove to take a look at his hotel project.

All the workers were on break for the Chinese New Year's, and the only ones remaining were the guards. He drove around the construction site for a bit, before stopping the car and walking in on foot. He looked at the tall buildings in construction and felt a sense of accomplishment.

At that moment, he really wanted to call Li Yu and tell him that the hotel was coming along, to share with him the joy of a smooth-sailing project after all the issues had been resolved. But as soon as he picked up the phone, he remembered that Li Yu had just broken up with him.

Seeing the messy, empty construction site made Jian Suiying feel uncomfortably empty also.

If he recalled correctly, this place was still a wasteland the last time he came, with weeds that went up to his knees. He had taken Li Yu along with him and was telling him about his plans for this project. At that time, the two of them were only boss and subordinate who barely knew each other, and Li Yu still had a polite standoffishness when speaking to him. Who'd have guessed that in just a few months, they'd go from unfamiliar to familiar, and then from familiar to not mean shit.

Jian Suiying sighed and gave a self-deprecating smile. Lighting up a cigarette, he walked around randomly for a bit and, after finishing the cigarette, left in his car.

The three stayed in Qinhuangdao for a night and headed back to Beijing after lunch the next day.

Jian Suiying didn't like staying with his father, so he went back to his own place.

He received a call as soon as he arrived. Looking at the screen, it was from Vince.

Jian Suiying answered: "Hello?"

"Hello, Young Master Jian, happy Chinese New Year."

"Oh, happy New Year."

"Was there a reason you didn't come fix up your hair at my place before the New Year's?"

"I didn't have the time. I’m the busiest right before New Year’s."

"That's right, you sir are busy doing important things."

"Hmm. When are you opening back up? I'll visit when I have time." Jian Suiying stroked his bangs, which were getting a little long.

"On the sixth day after the Chinese New Year. You sir are welcome anytime."

"Sure."

"Hey, Young Master Jian, I have some good news for you."

"Good news? What good news?"

"Do you remember that Xiao Zhu?"

"Xiao Zhu? Who?"

"Ah, you sir are truly an example of the expression ‘important people are oft to forget' [7]. Half a year ago, you came to my place to get your hair trimmed and I wasn't there, so you asked..."

"Oh, I remembered. What's the matter, didn't you tell me he didn't want to do it?"

Jian Suiying recalled there was, indeed, a pretty-looking boy that he’d wanted to make a sugar baby out of, but then Vince asked him and he did not want to do it. At that time Jian Suiying was right in the middle of things with Li Yu, so he hadn't paid much attention and forgot the matter with a turn of his head. He couldn't even remember what the boy looked like now.

"Ah, that was before. I also told him that he was in over his own head but he just... Well, anyway, you see, he needed money now and remembered you. I gave him a scolding yesterday, but after thinking it over, I should still ask Young Master Jian's opinion."

"Oh", Jian Suiying poured himself a glass of red wine. He leaned on the sofa, turned on the TV, and, looking at the people dancing with exaggerated steps, asked casually, "Why does he need money?"

"He didn't want to tell me, but his family wasn't well off. God knows what's going on."

"Okay, I'll offer the same price as before, you let him...come over today."

"Today? Young Master Jian, he has no experience, how about I teach him a few things first?"

"Off with your teachings, all those who have gone through them act like pornstars. I want to get a change of pace today. You have him come straight to me. I'm on vacation anyway, I'll teach him what he doesn't know."

Vince giggled: "Sure, sure. Uh, Young Master Jian..." He seemed hesitant to speak.

"What?"

"He’s a nice kid, and is quite simple and inexperienced. It’s the holidays, if he doesn't perform well, please understand and don't make things too difficult for him."

"Huh. You're becoming more and more matronly."

"Haha, he’s one of mine, after all ."

"Don't worry, I’m not interested in bullying people, just send him here."

"Okay, no problem, I'll send him over there now."

After hanging up the phone, Jian Suiying took a sip of his wine and filled his mind with thoughts about the plump little sheep that would soon be delivered to his door. But he still couldn't quite get it up. He drank a few more mouthfuls of wine, thinking that he should relax himself no matter what today.

He drove to one of his own hotels in the Fourth Ring [8] and waited for another half an hour before the manager called to tell him that the guests had arrived.

After a while, he heard a knock on the door. He opened the door and Vince, who'd been wearing a sultry, slim-fitting trench coat with a fur collar, was greeting him with a smile. The boy next to him had his head lowered, and he could only see a hair curl.

He nodded at Vince: "Okay, you can go back now."

The boy's body shuddered, and he glanced at Vince.

Jian Suiying knew without looking that he was nervous.

Vince patted the boy on the back, gave Jian Suiying a "take care of him" look, and left.

The boy raised his head, revealing a fair and beautiful face.

Jian Suiying beckoned at him: "Come in."

Xiao Zhu pursed his lips. He opened the door, came in, and gently closed it behind him.

Jian Suiying sat on the sofa and looked at him with a half-smile.

Xiao Zhu came over and whispered, "Young Master Jian, happy Chinese New Year."

"Hmm."

Then the kid just stared at him with a confused face.

Jian Suiying waved at him, "Come."

Walking around the coffee table, Xiao Zhu made his way to his side.

Holding his hand, Jian Suiying led him to sit on his lap. He could feel that Xiao Zhu was very nervous, so he patted his back comfortingly and asked casually: "How old are you?"

"Nineteen."

"Nineteen..." He was about the same age as Li Yu, but looked several years younger than him, and, in a crowd of people, you'd think he was a middle schooler.

"Didn't you not want to do this before? Why did you change your mind?"

Xiao Zhu's body froze, and he looked at him fearfully.

"If you don't want to tell me that's fine. Did Vince tell you my rules?"

"Yes."

Jian Suiying slowly reached inside his shirt and felt up and down his back. Very smooth, not bad.

Xiao Zhu straightened his body and swallowed with all his might.

Jian Suiying pulled out his hand, patted his butt lightly, and nudged his chin towards the bathroom: "Go wash yourself clean."

Xiao Zhu jumped off his lap and ran to the bathroom.

That night, Jian Suiying thoroughly savored the kid. He wasn't particularly into it, plus it was Xiao Zhu's first time, so he was crying the whole time and Jian Suiying didn't make things difficult for him, and finished after only  once.

He was quite satisfied with the boy: he was good-looking, had a beautiful body, and didn't talk too much. Thinking of it...after hanging around Li Yu for more than half a year, it has been a long while since he'd tasted the joy of dominating matters of the bed.

It's not like he was a sex addict. As long as his most basic physical need were met, he's not the type to seek new partners every day. The two or three times a week with Li Yu had been enough to exhaust his energy, so since the day he lost his virginity, this was the first time he'd only slept with one person for half a year. Jian Suiying never thought of himself as a loyal person, so he really felt that he’d done more than enough for Li Yu, but, unfortunately, the guy didn't give a shit.

Seeing the boy's trembling legs as he pulled himself out of bed to find a lighter for him, he also felt bad for the kid.

The boy lit a cigarette for him and then just stood there, looking at him.

Jian Suiying grabbed him by his waist and put him on the bed: "Rest up. I'm not tormenting you anymore."

Xiao Zhu was relieved, and he carefully laid down with a curled-up body.

Jian Suiying took a puff of the cigarette and touched Xiao Zhu's obviously soft-looking hair: "I'll go first. You can stay here as long as you want. I'll call you when I have time."

On the way home, Jian Suiying couldn't help thinking--there's so many people in this world who were eager to curry favor with him and to make him happy, why did he have to like someone who made him uncomfortable in every single way? The more unobtainable something was, the more precious it felt, and the more precious it felt, the more he wanted it. Hence, once a person loses himself to that game, ten bulls couldn’t pull them back up.

After two more days of rest, the vacation was over. People tend to be lazy after staying still for a long time, and when it was time to go back to work, Jian Suiying almost couldn't get out of bed.

After arriving at the company, he noticed that all the employees looked lethargic and lacking in energy. They probably had a hard time getting out of bed in this cold weather.

As soon as Jian Suiying arrived at the office, he called Secretary Liang over and asked him how Li Yu arranged his shifts.

Secretary Liang was a little surprised. Everyone in the company knew that Li Yu and Jian Suilin, like their boss himself, came whenever they wanted and didn't come if they didn't want to. There was basically no such thing as a schedule with them. But since the boss asked, the subordinate couldn't possibly answer "I don't know" so Secretary Liang said: "This...it may not be the same as before the New Year. I'll call him to confirm."

"Okay, anyway, these students haven't started school yet, so you tell him to come as often as he can, no less than three days a week... Well, two days, at the very least."

"Yes, I'll tell him that right now."

"Go."

After Secretary Liang left, Jian Suiying squinted his eyes and thought over some things for a long time, before finally making a call.

"Hello, Young Master Jian."

"Hey, how you been?"

"Same old same old. You haven't been here for a long time."

"I'm busy, you know?"

"Haha, of course I know you're busy. So what can I do for you today?"

"So here's the deal. Recently, I met one of those virginal types, and he’s giving me a real headache. Give me some of your stuff."

"Hahahaha, Young Master Jian, what kind of darling had made you resort to this? I really want to meet him."

"Hey, you think you get to see him whenever you like? Don't mess with me, just tell me, will you give it to me or not?"

"Sure. Young Master Jian had already spoken, how could I not offer it up? I will tell someone to deliver it to you today."

"Okay, I'll send you an address."

"Hey, why don't you call Pipi over today? He misses you."

"Nah, I'm busy. I don't have time, next time."

"Sure sure sure. Young master Jian, come to my place when you next have time. There are several new darlings here, all very beautiful and juicy."

"No problem, I'll certainly go."

After hanging up the phone, Jian Suiying showed a nasty smile.

Li Yu. Oh, Li Yu, don't blame your Brother Jian for being ruthless. You refused my politely stated offer, now face the consequences. You think I, Jian Suiying, can come and go as you please? This time, if I don't take everything back with interest. I will take your surname.